


lose it

by blushings



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Oh Sehun-centric, attempted hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 05:24:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11890944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushings/pseuds/blushings
Summary: “Don’t worry. I got you, too.”





	lose it

**Author's Note:**

> this took.... too long to write but i hope everyone enjoys it!! <333 btw the fic was named after oh wonder's lose it (it was supposed to be based off of it too but oh well)

> are you at the dorm? i want to tell you something

Sehun stared down at the text for what seemed like thirty minutes to him. He already responded saying, _yes i’m at the dorm, where else would i be?_  But Jongin had yet to respond, and it was making Sehun antsy. What did Jongin have to tell him that was so important that it had to wait until he got back to the dorm? 

Sehun, annoyed and giving up, tossed his phone onto the coffee table and grabbed the television remote, searching the guide to find something to distract himself with. Just as he was about to select a random drama, the front door opened with a smile-y Jongin. Sehun’s annoyance toward him quickly dissipated, happy that Jongin is smiling rather than frowning. He thought back to the other night when he went to go talk to Jongin and found him with wet cheeks and a frown. The older explained that he got into an argument with Krystal and would not go into any further detail because his eyes would water every time he tried talking about it. Sehun’s heartstrings were pulled at from the thought. He was mad at Krystal for some time now for hurting Jongin to the point of tears. He didn’t care if she was crying too; _she_ made Jongin upset.

Jongin didn’t understand why Sehun didn’t like her anymore; when he was asked who his ideal type was, he said Krystal. Sehun mentally scoffed to himself; he only said that so no one would raise their eyebrows for him saying _my hyung_.

But now Jongin was happy again. Or appeared to be happy. Hopefully it has something to do with the text. Sehun’s lips twitched at the thought that maybe him and Krystal broke up. However, he knew better, Jongin wouldn’t be happy. Just wails and tears everywhere. Sehun always wanted Jongin to be happy.

Sehun smiled as Jongin laid down on the sofa, his head on Sehun’s lap. The younger’s heart skipped a beat as he watched the older rubbed his own face, aching from smiling so much. Finally, he stopped rubbing his face and grabbed Sehun’s remote-less hand, holding it between his own before speaking. “You are not going to _believe_  what I’m about to tell you. I’m going to propose to Krystal.”

Sehun’s smile faltered.

“That’s why I was gone all day! I went to go ask Sooman-nim and Junmyeon for permission first. I didn’t know what to do, so don’t say _aish, you should’ve just proposed_.” Jongin was playing with Sehun’s fingers as he explained.

“I-I thought you two were on bad terms? You two were in that argument…?”

Any trace of a smile was removed from Jongin’s features as his eyes met Sehun’s. “Everything is solved now… Aren’t you happy for me?”

“Of course,” Sehun responded with the best smile he could pull for Jongin. The smile was returned almost immediately.

“Good, because I still need to pick the ring and I want you to help me.” Sehun didn’t let his smile falter as he tightened his fingers around Jongin’s, holding his hand.

“Do we have to go right now?”

“No, we can go tomorrow since we only have to do one thing in the morning.”

“Okay, good; I don’t feel like getting up from this spot.”

Jongin laughed, “Neither do I.” He turned his head toward the television where the guide was still present and the drama Sehun almost selected. “That one is good, put it on.” Sehun did as he was told and watched the story unfold.

The older diverted his eyes from the screen before finding the younger’s other hand, removing the remote from it and placing it in his hair. “Please? It feels nice when you play with my hair.”

Sehun hesitated before he started running his fingers through the strands. He watched as his hyung turned back to the television and as his eyelids grew heavy with exhaustion due to overworking and barely any sleep from the last few days. After Jongin fell asleep in Sehun’s lap, the younger soon followed in suit. Both boys had their mouths agape in their nap, making their hyungs giggle to themselves as they took pictures to possibly post on instagram later in the day after coming home or leaving their rooms. As Chanyeol went back to his room, he thought that maybe both of the sleeping boys would appreciate having the picture.

 

\----  ☾ ☀︎

 

“How’s this one?” Jongin asked, pointing to yet another shiny ring in the display box.

Almost all the ones Jongin was pointing out to Sehun looked the same (in Sehun’s honest opinion). They all had a silver band and a single diamond. Nothing else. The simplicity didn’t seem like something someone would appreciate, especially Krystal. Jongin even specified that he didn’t have a limit; he’s willing to spend however much money on her.

“Eh, it’s okay,” Sehun responded before he forgot that Jongin asked him a question.

“You said that with the five other ones!” Jongin scolded, looking over to another set of rings. “Wait, what about that one? Over there in the corner?”

When Sehun looked over to the said ring, he was thankful it wasn’t the same. It actually had more diamonds, probably because they were smaller in size.

“ _Yes_ , that one. That one is good.”

Jongin called over the jeweler, requesting the ring. The jeweler looked at Jongin and Sehun before saying, “Does your fiancé want to try on the ring?”

Jongin and Sehun kind of look at each other. They were in _that_ part of town, so it wasn’t that surprising to hear that. However, does the seller know who they are and is just toying with them? Jongin took the initiative as he leaned over and whispered, “I think you and Krystal have the same ring size, would you please try it on for me? Please?”

Sehun stammered over his words before finally mumbling a _sure_  then realized the jeweler didn’t hear him so he spoke louder. The jeweler smiled, asking Sehun his ring size then retrieving it from storage. The jeweler glanced at Jongin.

“Would the groom like to do the honors?”

Sehun’s mind was screaming as he watched Jongin nod, taking the ring and turning toward the younger. With ease, Jongin grabbed his hand and slid the ring onto his ring finger. All three smiled, glad they were satisfied and that the ring fit. Much to Sehun’s dismay, Jongin slid the ring off so the jeweler can put it in a box along with the simpler engagement ring while both men tried to ignore the fact that the “fiancé” tried on the ring.

After purchasing the rings, the two walk around the mall and it was mostly deserted, only the employees there. The two decided to come as early as possible and wear their face masks when they walk around to help hide themselves from fans in order to exit the shopping center safely.

 

\----  ☾ ☀︎

 

Sehun was on the set for Dear Archimedes when he got a message from Jongin.

> i proposed! and she said yes!

He wanted to be happy for Jongin, for the love of him. He wanted to message back how he was so glad and proud _but his fingers wouldn’t move_. What didn’t help was the ache in his chest as if someone reached inside and clutched his heart, pulling strings to emit pain. Then he remembered that Krystal was on vacation.

< yay!! but.. isnt she currently not in korea rn

> nah she came back early to surprise me and then i surprised her lol

Sehun rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to form a response, but then he was called back to retry a scene. He locked his phone, returning to set with the thought of Jongin and Krystal together.

Later that day, back at the dorm, Sehun laid on his bed in him and Junmyeon’s shared room and looked at his texts from earlier. It still had yet to give the effect that Jongin was actually engaged now. Kim Jongin and soon Kim Krystal. Kim Krystal and Kim Jongin. Sehun wondered if him and Jongin were to get married, who would have whose last name? But that train of thought was interrupted by Jongin peeping his head in. “Sehun! I knew you’d be in here.”

Sehun’s lips curved ever so lightly, smiling at Jongin. “Of course. You need anything?”

As the older walked in, he made sure not to step on their leader’s mess that littered the floor. “Nah, just wanted to be by you.”

The younger resisted saying _really?_ because of course Jongin wanted to be near him; they’re best friends, why wouldn’t Jongin want to be by him?

The thoughts cleared from his head as Jongin crawled onto his bed, snuggling up beside him and wrapping his arm around Sehun’s waist then nuzzling his nose into the side of his neck as the younger felt his skin tingle.

“You’re always there for me, Sehun. Thank you,” Jongin whispered, being cautious due to proximity.

“O-of course, you’re always there for me,” Sehun whispered back then felt Jongin giggle, his breath skitting across his skin. Sehun moved his hand to Jongin’s hair, playing with the strands.

The former grunted, whispering, “If you play with my hair, I’ll fall asleep,” and Sehun paused his actions, which then cause Jongin to say, “No, no. I didn’t say stop.”

Sehun chuckled and resumed toying with the strands. It wasn’t long until Jongin’s breathing evened out and he felt a little heavier on Sehun, so he closed his eyes, soon falling asleep as they embraced each other.

Sadly, Sehun was woken up by a loud ass noise. He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly what it was, but he just wanted it to _stop_. It kept going until he felt warmth leave his side and the noise stopped then he heard Jongin’s groggy voice. The words were difficult to make out, so maybe he wasn’t exactly awake yet. Just aware.

Soon he couldn’t hear Jongin’s voice anymore, but then he felt pokes to his side and a very soft, “Sehun, wake up. It’s eight at night. We slept too long and the call was just Baekhyun calling to ask if we’re hungry. I said for him to get us chicken if that’s okay?”

Still not waking up completely, Sehun gave Jongin a thumbs up, emitting laughter from him. Jongin poked him again, “Seriously, wake up. We can go drink soju as we wait.”

The mention of soju _definitely_  woke up Sehun as he propped himself on his elbow and rubbed his eyes. “Isn’t it too late to be drinking soju?”

“That’s preposterous! It’s never too late for soju!” Jongin got up from the bed, pulling Sehun along with, and Sehun wasn’t sure if Jongin meant to pull him up gracefully or what because he ended up slipping on something that was probably Junmyeon’s but he didn’t want to find out what it was from the fear it might have been his underwear.

The older continued to pull Sehun, making him stumble on his feet until they made it into the dark living room. Sehun was finally let go of and plopped onto the couch, getting too comfortable as his eyelids got heavy again.

“Hey! Don’t fall back asleep! We have soju to drink!” Jongin’s voice echoed through the practically empty living room and kitchen.

“Can’t soju wait? I’m tired,” Sehun groaned in return even though he wanted to drink it earlier then felt his leg being lightly kicked. Peeping one eye, Jongin stood before him with two glasses and a bottle of the drink he wouldn’t shut up about.

“Please? I want to celebrate with you, Sehun,” the man before him pleaded. His features were the softest, making Sehun open both his eyes and think as if he were to say no, the poor kid would probably shed a few tears. Also, Sehun had a hard time trying to figure out why Jongin felt the need to celebrate. He was about to ask then he remembered: the proposal.

Feeling like he took to long to respond, Sehun eagerly nodded to reassure Jongin. His response made the other smile then take a seat next to him on the couch, opening the bottle of soju then pouring some for both of them. Sehun’s glass was handed to him and he took it, thinking that he shouldn’t drink too much tonight.

But oh boy, the others take what felt like _hours_  to get back to the dorm, which gave the two time to drink more than half of the bottle. They were giggling, hiccuping, and swaying. If they were asked to walk in a straight line with support, they would still go off balance and fall to the ground.

Just as Sehun sipped the last of his soju, he caught Jongin staring at him. The older stopped drinking a little before him, sitting back on the couch in silence. He might’ve been staring at Sehun for some time now, thinking about something.

“Is there something on my face? Is there ranch dressing on my cheek?”

“No… Do you even like ranch dressing?”

“No, it’s fucking disgusting.”

Both men erupt in giggles, tipsy from the amount they drank that evening. The noise calmed down then Sehun seriously asked why Jongin why he was staring at him.

“I’m still kind of in shock that I’m getting married. I don’t know why, but I would have thought you’d get married before me. You’re a total ladies man.”

Sehun snorted. “Okay, yeah, sure. Whatever that is supposed to mean.” He considered telling Jongin right then that he actually has a preference of dicks over vaginas.

“I meant that… Women are attracted to you. Especially noonas.”

Sehun shrugged. “Women are… Okay. I wouldn’t say they’re for me.”

Jongin leaned forward, pouring a little of soju into his glass. “Women aren’t for you? What do you mean?”

Pausing, Sehun had to think. How was he going to tell Jongin? _Aye bro, full homo right now. Sehun is Segay. I’m hundred and nine percent gay for no pay._

However, with all jokes aside, Sehun was worried. How will Jongin react? He’s terrified that Jongin will punch him or leave him alone in the dorm. So, with a shaky breath and eyes on his fingers as he picked at the skin around his nails, he started, “D-Do you remember when I said I like men?” He glanced up, seeing Jongin nod carefully. “Well, I was being serious.”

Sehun looked back down at his hands, avoiding eye contact. It was quiet, probably because Jongin was contemplating whether to fight or run. The thought the Jongin would do either made Sehun’s chest tinge and soon he could barely see his own hands because tears started slipping from his eye lids. He tried being discreet as he brought his palms to his face to wipe away tears then he felt Jongin pulling his hands away. He didn’t mean to, but he flinched, scared that his best friend was going to hurt him.

“Hey, hey… Why are you crying? There’s no need to cry,” Jongin cooed as he pulled Sehun to his chest, embracing him.

“I was worried, scared you would leave or hit me. I didn’t know what to expect. I thought you would see me differently.”

Jongin leaned back, letting Sehun lay on him. “I wouldn’t do that. I care too much about you do stupid shit like that, and you’re still the same Sehun we all know and love. You’re not any different; you’re still the same.”

Sehun didn’t bother trying to hold back his tears. He felt himself unsteadily shift from panic to a warm, comforting feeling in his chest. He felt cared for; he felt _loved_. It may not be the same type of love he feels for Jongin, but he still felt loved. He’ll take what he can get.

And in return, he will _always_  be there for Jongin.

 

\----  ☾ ☀︎

 

The fans caught on quickly. On Instagram, Sehun along with others are being tagged in photos of screenshots from allkpop and koreaboo with captions like “f(x)’s Krystal and EXO’s Kai are engaged!” and “Love is definitely in the air for Krystal and Kai!” The fans even asked Sehun, “Sehun oppa, is it true Kai oppa is getting married to Krystal?”

Sehun would of course ignore, but then he would see other fans saying it is all a hoax. Eventually he just muted anything that came from Instagram. He turned his head, looking at the packaged suit hanging from his closet door. It was the suit for the wedding—Jongin’s wedding.

The ceremony was soon. They were all set to go to a secluded location for the event— _Jongin’s_  event.

Sehun was still having a hard time wrapping his head around it all… He mentally did not want to accept it, even though it has been prepared.

Not really having the energy to do anything, he turned over and closed his eyes to try and catch up on sleep. However, he heard the familiar creak of his door opening and closing at a very terrible attempt to enter his room without a noise. He did have to give the person kudos because he nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt arms go under his shirt, wrapping around his waist.

“I’ve missed you,” Jongin whispered, lips brushing Sehun’s earshell. His skin tingled all over after Jongin moved his leg between Sehun’s longer ones. He could feel the dampness of Jongin’s strands of hair brushing the side of his face, traces of him just getting out the shower. “Both of us have been so busy… I missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Jongin, and I hope you don’t mind I was about to take a nap,” Sehun responded, tapping his fingers along Jongin’s. He missed Jongin so _much_. The elder had been out for the last few hours doing his wedding photos, and was strictly informed that he couldn’t bring others along with because it would distract the photographers.

Jongin nuzzled his head on Sehun’s shoulder. “No, I don’t mind; I’m pretty beat.”

Soon both their legs were covered and they fell asleep, Jongin embracing Sehun.

 

\----  ☾ ☀︎

 

In his room, Sehun stood in front of the mirror, adding cufflinks to his sleeves. It wasn’t for the wedding, no. It was for a night out with Jongin, right before him and Krystal tied the knot. Everyone was going, and they were probably going to get Jongin not _drunk_ but that space between tipsy and drunk. They were actually being considerate: not wanting to get the poor kid wasted the night before his big day.

A hand lightly gripped Sehun’s shoulder, making him turn to see Junmyeon standing right behind him. Smiling, he asked, “You ready?”

Sehun nodded then the two of them walked out the room and into the hall where the others were. Everyone appeared to be there so Junmyeon clapped his hands together. “Okay, let’s be on our way!”

Hands in pockets, Sehun walked with his head down before he felt warmth on his lower back. Looking to his side, he was accompanied by Jongin, who had his head dipped into the younger’s vision. The warmth transitioned to his waist as Jongin pulled him closer to ask, “You okay?”

“Just a little tired.” Sehun wasn’t exactly lying; he was tired, but mostly he didn’t want to go out. He wanted to sulk in his room and waste away. However, he knew better than that so he’s going out for Jongin with the group.

The journey to the secluded club was quick. And them getting their drinks and giggling like 12-year-old school girls was quicker. Sehun sat on a couch near a wall, watching Baekhyun and Jongdae gather everyone’s drinks from the counter then gave them out to each member. Most chugged their drinks then hit the dance floor, while the rest, like Sehun, stayed to the side and sipped their drink.

The night went on like every other club night, except every once in awhile Sehun would hear someone shouting, “BAEKHYUN, STOP. HE CAN’T HAVE TOO MUCH,” then see his disappointed hyung walking around and drinking from a large cup filled with a dark liquid and too strong for almost anyone’s liking. Sehun’s thoughts glued to Jongin and the wedding. He hoped— _knew_ —that Jongin will enjoy his wedding tomorrow. His thoughts then go to the group as a whole, and thinks about how the sasaengs might possibly react, which made him frown.

Looking down at his oddly vibrant drink, Sehun stirred it with the straw it came with then took some sips before Jongin plopped down next to him. The older’s hair looked like a mess compared to when they were getting ready earlier. Jongin leaned into Sehun, making the younger move his drink out the way and place it on the table so it wouldn’t be spilled. Sehun glanced over at Jongin, who had his fingers tapping gently against the couch cushion.

“Are you okay? I asked you earlier and you said you said you were tired, but I don’t think it’s just that. So… Are you _really_  okay?” Jongin voiced. The question rung in Sehun’s ears; did he want to answer truthfully, or did he want to lie again?

He turned to look at Jongin, who mirrored his actions. Sehun placed his hand over Jongin’s, brushing his fingers over his knuckles, then said, “I swear I’m just tired, but I’m starting to feel the impact of the alcohol.”

He watched as Jongin’s lips pouted, making it evident that he didn’t believe the man before him. He was anticipating another question, but Jongin just reached over to the abandoned drink on the table and drank directly from the cup, ignoring the straw. He chugged half the cup then handed it to Sehun, and he chugged the rest of it. The cup was placed on the table again before the older maneuvered his hand under Sehun’s, intertwining their fingers.

Sehun’s breathing halted for a second as he observed how Jongin’s fingers contrasted against his own. He sighed in content, nudging Jongin with his head to make him move over a little then proceeded to rest on his shoulder. Sehun’s eyelids fluttered closed, listening to the loud music and all the noises within the club then Jongin started talking again.

“Y’know, I was realizing the other day that the way I feel for Krystal...is almost similar to how i feel about you, Sehunnie.” His digits on Sehun’s hand tightened, thumb rubbing against thumb.

Sehun’s eyes shot open; did… Jongin really just say that? What does that even mean? Does it mean that he… has feelings for him? But he thought he was straight?

He wanted to ask (so bad) but both men had a couple of drinks. Sehun didn’t want the misunderstanding to get worse than it was right now, especially when the wedding is so soon. So he just gently squeezed Jongin’s hand and held his arm close to him as the night died down.

 

\----  ☾ ☀︎

 

The ceremony was quick. Probably so that not too many fansites and sasaengs entered the building, but some were already camping outside. Luckily their bodyguards were there to shield them when they arrived and as they left.

Sehun glanced to the car far from the one he’s entering. Krystal and Jongin were in their vehicle ready to head to the airport for a honeymoon (upon Krystal’s request). If he remembered exactly, they’re heading to Bora Bora.... Or Hawaii. He can’t remember the name but he remembered pretty waters and clear skies.

Sehun sighed as he settled into his seat. He hadn’t seen Jongin all day except for the ceremony and that was a good thirty minutes. Jongin wasn’t in the dorm, getting ready for the event while Sehun and the others got ready in the dorm.

Pulling out his phone, he opened his and the groom’s messages.

< hope you enjoy the honeymoon! i’ll miss you

He hesitated before clicking _send_. A second didn’t pass and Jongin responded.

> i’ll miss you too sehun. you’ll be in my thoughts

Sehun put his phone down, not knowing how exactly to respond to the text. They shouldn’t have been communicating like that. Jongin was in a relationship—Jongin was _married_. To Krystal.

Sehun was split between the thought that Jongin was somehow still more-than-tipsy-but-less-than-drunk from the previous night and the thought that Jongin was saying what Sehun kind of hoped he was saying. Oh, how bad Sehun hoped that Jongin had the same attraction to him as he did, but it’s a little too late to hope for that while he watched Jongin and Krystal’s vehicle head toward the airport.

 

\----  ☾ ☀︎

 

A whole week had passed.

According to the message Jongin sent to the groupchat, the honeymoon was to last a little over a week. And they were in Bora Bora (Jongin confirmed). Sehun had to admit, he was a little antsy of Jongin’s arrival. Seeing him face to face meant acknowledging one another. It also meant that they would be back to regular schedules. It also meant that Jongin was back from his honeymoon with Krystal.

To help keep himself distracted, he bought Americanos for the others then went to the studio to practice. Setting aside his coffee, Sehun stretched, cracking his joints and feeling tension leave his body as he prepped himself for a private performance. Putting his music on shuffle, a song he wasn’t the most familiar with came on but he decided to take the challenge.

Sehun followed the beats he anticipated, proud of himself for getting them right. As the song went on, he realized he had practiced this song before and maybe that’s why he was able to dance to it. When it finished, an EXO song came on and he followed the regular choreo and added in his own little flair to it. As one song finished, another began and it went like this for a while with breaks in between and at the end, Sehun was sweating from head to toe and in a dire need of a shower. He packed up his things then headed back to the dorms. It wasn’t too late, he missed lunch but he could have a big dinner to make up for it.

Sehun hesitated to exit the building, wondering if there were sasaengs outside. Luckily, the area was clear as he ran to his car then headed back to the dorms. The ride was short and silent, considering that not a lot of people were out at the time.

What he didn’t expect when he opened the door to the dorm was Jongin, who was sitting on the couch with Chanyeol and Junmyeon. He had his face in his hands as the two were comforting him. His bags were still by the door. The atmosphere was down and somewhat tense. Jongin brought his head up, revealing tear streaked cheeks and red rimmed eyes.

Another thing Sehun didn’t expect was Jongin quickly rising from the couch and wrapping his arms around his neck, sobbing into his damp t-shirt. Sehun dropped his items to hold Jongin, rubbing his back and carding his fingers through his strands to help him relax. In no time, the older was just sniffling in Sehun’s care. Whispering, Sehun asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Jongin answered with a no then remained silent. Chanyeol and Junmyeon were watching from the couch still, eyebrows screwed together but they knew Jongin would explain soon, so they weren’t too worried. At least, they hoped he’d open up.

Sehun exited the shower, heading to Jongin’s room. The older quietly asked for his company before he went to shower, and Sehun walked into his room to find him asleep.

He walked over to the bed, pulling back the covers and laying next to Jongin. To his surprise, the older turned toward him. Sehun looked over his face that was illuminated by the moon coming in through Jongin’s poorly closed curtains. He saw Jongin’s red lined eyes, signaling his tiredness. He asked Jongin if he wanted to talk about what happened.

Jongin let out a shaky breath. “Remember the time you saw me crying? Because of Krystal?”

Sehun nodded.

“Well, at the time she told me that her and Amber slept together. I thought she was joking at first, or recalling something they did before we got together, but she confirmed t-that it was recent. I asked her why she did it and she s-said that her feelings for Amber were stronger than what she felt for me.”

Jongin stopped to take a deep breath. “The next day, things were fine. It was almost as if I imagined the conversation, but my eyes hurt too much for it to be fake yet I still refused to believe it. Things sort of went back to normal… Then the honeymoon happened. She refused to sleep in the same bed as me and she said that she only agreed to the marriage in order for me to be her beard for her and Amber.” A few tears slipped and his voice shook as he continued to speak. “S-She said that she no longer h-has romantic feelings for me, that she doesn’t l-love me.”

Jongin covered his face as he started crying into his hands while Sehun leaned forward to pull him into a hug, making Jongin wrap his arms around the younger as he rested his head between Sehun’s neck and shoulder.

Sehun rubbed his back as he sobbed, shaking in his arms. He knew nothing he could say nothing to relieve Jongin of this pain, so he just comforted him. Soon enough the sobbing turned to sniffles and the sniffles turned to deep breathes as Jongin fell asleep in Sehun’s arms. He slowly pulled him from his arms so they wouldn’t wake up sweaty and sore from stretching their muscles. Jongin’s body slumped into the mattress and pillow, comforter pulled up to his neck thanks to Sehun. Soon, he fell asleep with hope in his heart that Jongin would be okay.

 

\----  ☾ ☀︎

 

Sometime later, they prepare for their comeback. Learning new dance routines, practicing new lyrics. Everyone had been down lately due to Yixing’s absence, but Junmyeon had been trying to keep their spirits high by saying that the comeback could be a gift to Yixing. So that he would still be included in the comeback somehow.

Sehun and Jongin had gotten most of the choreo down perfectly, but they still stayed after with their older members to help or even just stayed after so that they could hang out in the studio. Usually they would goof around, purposely messing up the choreo and blaming each other, but they kept to their instructed moves and slowly perfected the dance.

At one point the two stopped to rest: leaning against the wall, drinking from their water bottles, staring at their reflections in the mirror, and breathing heavy.

Sehun thought about when Jongin returned from Bora Bora and everything he told him. He wondered the big question: what happens now? After a few seconds, he built up the courage to ask.

Jongin sighed, “They’re not ending things anytime soon, so...yeah.” he shrugged then drank more water. 

Sehun frowned to himself. “Well…. I guess you’re stuck then.”

He watched as Jongin’s fingers crept near him and started playing with the drawstrings that were laying at his sides. “Yeah, at least I got you though.”

Sehun was silent, soaking up what he was just told. It reminded him that Jongin feels for him what he felt for Krystal. He glanced up at the older before saying, “Don’t worry. I got you, too,” which made him look up from the drawstrings and shyly smiled.

Warmth spread through Sehun’s chest as he finally realized that maybe Jongin wasn’t fucking around when he said those things to him. It wasn’t a joke, it wasn’t just the alcohol talking.

They really do have each other.

 

\----  ☾ ☀︎

 

As time went on, Sehun took note of how Jongin was smiling more and there was light in his eyes again. Jongin was also paying Sehun extra attention by subtle glances, sending small smile, and even picking random flowers from the grass and carefully placing them in his hair (“You look so pretty.”) (it also didn’t help that he would look into Sehun’s eyes with endearment and would brush his thumb along his jawline).

The hugs and cuddles weren’t helping either. Sehun would be minding his own business (picking up stray laundry, making lunch for himself, etc) and he would feel Jongin’s arms snaking around him and his head coming to rest on his shoulder. The cuddles were more or less expected. They already cuddled a lot, but it occurred more often. Sehun would wake up to too much warmth (probably making him sweat) with legs and arms wrapped around him and the faint touch of Jongin’s lips pressed to his shoulder.

One day Sehun confronted Jongin, whisper-shouting, “Dude, what the fuck? You can’t just… Vaguely confess or whatever to me and forget about Krystal and get _more_  affectionate with me! What the fuck is going on!” Sehun was glaring. They were in the car, on their way to some place Sehun can’t remember at the moment but there was going to be people. He put off asking Jongin about their current relationship, knowing that the older hates confrontation. So , of course, he expected Jongin to look uncomfortable and upset.

Jongin sighed, then whispered, “I like you, that’s what the fuck is going on.”

“Why couldn’t you just say that? Why did you have to dance around saying ‘I like you’?”

“Because…. I was confused. I didn’t know it was possible for me to like other guys. Like, yeah, I could appreciate a nice face and body—it was normal to me. But then… After a while I would have an attraction to guys, including you, that others would describe for having for a female? It… Scared me a little. I thought maybe I misunderstood everything… Then I met Krystal, and I finally felt the way I was supposed to, yet I still had that attraction to guys. As time went on, that attraction I had for you was… God, it was so confusing to think about but when I was with you I would forget about it a little, forget about Krystal.

“Then long time later, you would drop hints about liking guys, saying that they made your heart flutter and that you’re attracted to men. Then you actually came out to me. It was a _relief_ , in a way, because maybe just maybe you understood, or better yet, felt the same about me. In a way though, it felt wrong, because I’m with Krystal. I already knew about the stuff with Amber, but it felt wrong still because I thought she moved passed that, but I guess not. She broke my heart twice and now… I don’t really feel anything for her… Hence why I’ve been dropping hints. I wanted to confess to you—believe me, I did—but I was so scared that you wouldn’t feel the same. I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer and didn’t say anything sooner… I’m sorry.”

Sehun’s hand crept over to Jongin’s thigh where his hand rested and gently squeezed to reassure him. “The feeling is mutual but don’t do dumbshit like that again.”

Jongin’s eyes widened. “Wait… Which feeling is mutual? Being confused about sexuality or liking me?”

“Both but right now it’s liking you dumbass.” He intertwined their fingers as Jongin’s jaw slowly opened and gawked at Sehun.

“You’re not shitting me are you? You like me?”

The car came to a park in side of a lot where there were not many people, keeping them as secluded as possible. The others started filing out the car, so right before anyone could turn and look at them, Sehun scrapped up enough courage to pull Jongin in by his neck for a kiss.

His lips were as soft as he imagined, if not more, but it didn’t last long as he had to pull away and exit the car too. Once Jongin exitted he said to him, “I like you, doofus.”

Jongin tried to hide the smile that dared to appear on his face. His cheeks were betraying him too as they painted themselves pink. The sight made Sehun’s heart swell and his own lips twitch into a smile.

They really do have each other.


End file.
